“The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have professionally and personally.”
If your self-esteem is low, it will manifest itself in lots of different ways. You may have the feeling that you are never really feeling good enough, no matter what you have achieved in life. You will often go the extra mile for people with this not being reciprocated. We often look outside of ourselves to feed our self-esteem. This could be with love from others, material success, professional achievement, even fame. When self-esteem is an issue, no matter what you fill your life with, you will always go back to the place within you that tells you that you’re not good enough. If you carry an inner bully that has a critical voice and tells you that you are not good enough, it’s time to face them head-on. As with any bully, when challenged they run away and you break the myth.
Confident people are not brash or overpowering. They are usually calm and respectful of themselves and others. They are aware of their strengths and proud of their achievements. They can take ownership of their weaknesses without treating themselves in a harsh way. They are happy to embrace change and learn from others. When we lack confidence in ourselves, we are often very fearful of rejection and criticism. This keeps us from being honest with ourselves and others. No one is perfect and acceptance that we are not or ever will be perfect allows us to embrace the qualities we have.
When we increase our self-esteem and build our confidence, we can accept we have the right to make decisions that are right for us. Assertive behaviour enables us to act on our own best interests and to stand up for ourselves without undue anxiety. However, to find true assertiveness we need to be aware that to state our case or say no to an unreasonable request should never be delivered with aggression or passive aggression. Assertiveness is a true art that will ensure we keep the respect of others. We need to learn to deliver our message in a calm, honest and respectful way.